5 Warning Signs of Domestic Violence in Relationships

About half of the women in the world have been victims of intimate partner violence at some point in their lives and it is the leading cause of injury for women between the ages of 15-44 in the United States. Often women say that they are not sure how they got into abusive relationships and after realizing their partner’s violent tendencies were unsure of how to leave. There are five signs that a romantic relationship is abusive or headed in that direction:

1.) Growing levels of isolation- violent partners often isolate these women from their family, friends and sometimes jobs. This makes them completely dependent of the violent partner and with no witness to what is taking place in the home, nobody to show the bruises to.

2.) Emotional abuse- usually these men use hurtful words and insults to break down a woman’s self-worth and self-esteem. Doing this enhances her feelings that she will be unable to survive or completely incompetent without the relationship.

3.) Psychological abuse- this includes destroying property, hurting pets and /or using surveillance to keep the woman under constant watch.

4.) Sexual abuse- there are many ways that sexual abuse is displayed, it includes (but is not limited to): false accusations of infidelity ties to terrifying inquisitions, claiming sexual ownership over partner, forced sexual acts and coercing partner into unwanted sexual acts.

5.) Escalating levels of control- this can include things such as giving the woman an allowance and insisting she has receipts to account for every penny, constant monitoring of cell phone call log and not allowing the female partner to go anywhere in public without male partner.

If you or someone you know is involved in a relationship that involved domestic violence don’t lose hope. There are many resources and professionals that can help. It is important to reach out to a professional counselor to get help. These professionals can assist you in creating safety plans while in the home and a detailed exit strategy on how to get out of an abusive relationship. If your partner exhibits any of the behaviors above, but has not physically assaulted you it will be easier to leave before the violence starts. For more detailed information on where to go and what to do check the domestic violence website

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Valentine December 8, 2019 0 Comments

Differences in Personality, Intelligence and Education in Relationships

Mismatched couples come in many forms that produce varying levels of incompatibility. They include differences in personalities, levels of intelligence and education. Commonly, people fall in love and ignore these common signs of incompatibility even though they may be visible early in the relationship. Many years may go by before the extent of the mismatch is recognized.

PERSONALITY

Compatible personalities are generally essential for an intimate relationship to develop. Aggressive people have difficulty living with passive mates without conflicts occurring. Once the bloom of love has diminished, aggressive spouses may become aggravated by the quieter, passive and often shy or dependent partner. More likely, boredom develops. Often the passive or dependent person wants more tenderness and warmth, especially during sex, than is offered by a more aggressive partner.

Marked differences in personality types are apt to create relationship problems. An introverted and inhibited person clashes with a suspicious and angry spouse. A fearful and phobic partner has trouble with an outgoing and fearless mate. One who is afraid of getting close to people may be in conflict with a person who reaches out and befriends everyone.

INTELLIGENCE

The levels of intelligence can negatively impact a relationship when the woman is decidedly more intelligent than her mate. Some couples can survive this, but eventually the woman outshines her partner in work, play and in their interaction. The various positive elements in the relationship often compensate for this difference and thus relegate intelligence to a low level of influence.

Many couples can handle a relationship when the woman is less intelligent, though it often backfires when the difference is too great and the woman lacks the capacity to adequately interact. The way a person uses intelligence is often more consequential than the actual intelligence quotients.

The freedom to express warmth, love and deep caring influences a couple far more than knowledge of current events. Reaching deeply into a person’s feelings and sharing intimate and meaningful discussions markedly affects the viability of a loving relationship. Sensitivity, empathy and intuition are powerful forces for true compatibility.

EDUCATIONAL LEVELS

With the large number of women (half of all college students) seeking graduate and post-graduate education, the marked differences in this area have diminished. How this influences marriage is difficult to assess.

Advanced education usually determines knowledge and expertise in certain limited categories. A PhD in chemistry, physics, anthropology and other subjects does not fully indicate the educational breadth a person attains. Being self-educated and a dedicated reader can help many people become highly educated, often more than those with advanced degrees.

At times problems arise when a highly educated person marries a relatively poorly educated person. Their ease of communication may suffer. Thus the intimacy and shared pleasure of conversation may falter and cause rifts in the relationship. By making the pursuit of education and learning life-long, problems in this area will tend to be minimal.

Incompatibility in relationships occurs in many guises and needs to be recognized early before there is an erosion of the intimacy and love that partners share. Ways to diminish and even overcome deficiencies that may arise are available. Learning more about various techniques to modify personality, in addition to psychotherapy, if needed, can remove barriers that may influence compatibility.

Improving education can reduce feelings of inferiority and enhance communication skills. Intelligence is not irrevocably fixed and can be modified through increasing creativity and developing areas that strongly interest you or where you believe a talent exists. As self-esteem rises a greater desire to improve oneself develops and this can become a winning combination for self-development.

Intelligence comes in many forms and is not necessarily linked to an IQ test. Not hiding from the differences and seeking change and sharing the methods to improve the relationship despite incompatibility can overcome most difficulties that couples face. Do not compare yourself to anyone else, You are a unique person and so is your partner. Find ways to support and assist each other as you work toward change and personal growth.

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Valentine November 30, 2019 0 Comments

Mere Najhuk Dil ka Dilbaar

Mere Najhuk Dil ka Dilbaar,
Sabse bada hai Tu Aarmaan,
Subha se Shaam Puja karta hoon Main,
Tum ko aapna maan ke BHAGWAN..

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Valentine November 22, 2019 0 Comments

Your Girlfriend Wants a Break – What Does it Mean?

Believe it or not when your girlfriend asks for a break it’s good news. It means she’s not through with the relationship yet, and hasn’t fully decided to break up with you. In the meantime she wants something done.

If your girlfriend wants a break, what she usually wants is change. How you address her offer to put your relationship on hold will affect whether or not you get back together with your ex-girlfriend.

Often times, the request for a break will come from out of nowhere. That’s because you didn’t see anything wrong with the relationship but your girlfriend did. She’s not happy with the way things are, and maybe she’s even tried to talk to you about that.

Maybe her words fell on deaf ears, and you didn’t take the time to listen to what she was saying. This resulted in her feeling frustrated, and maybe even angry with you at not hearing her out. To get your attention she pulls the ultimate move: “I think we should take a break from each other”.

If you’re not careful, your break will become a breakup. This is why need to act very quickly as soon as your girlfriend decides that she needs some time away from you. Wait too long, and she’s going to lose interest, and maybe even find another guy. Handling the situation immediately is your only option.

As soon as you girlfriend suggests taking a break from your relationship, you need to calm down, look her in the eye, and nod your head. By not fighting her on her decision to walk away, you’re effectively walking away from yourself. She doesn’t expect this or wants it. What she wants is for you to fight for the relationship, which shows that you actually care.

It’s not that you don’t care, but you cannot show her any signs of weakness right now. What she wants is to make a lasting impact in your mind – she wants to send you the message that she means business, and that you need to take her feelings carefully into consideration.

Your girlfriend actually wants one thing: for you to talk her out of the break. She wants to hear that you’ll change for her and that you’ve understood how wrong you are about certain things. Instead of doing that, you must walk away – at least for now.

Bowing down and catering to her at this moment will let her know that the weapon she used will be effective against you in the future. She’ll always remember what happened here and know that threatening to break up with you gets the results that she wants. That’s the last thing you need if you want to continue a good, healthy relationship with your girlfriend.

Imagine your girlfriend’s reaction when you don’t fight her on the idea of breaking up. Even if she phrases it as “only a break”, you need to treat it as if your girlfriend is actually breaking up with you. You need to break contact, turn off your phone, unplug your computer, and move on with your life. When you’re not chasing her, she’s very quickly going to get very nervous about where you are and what you’re doing.

What she wanted, was you to stick around in a neutral, friendly way so she could keep tabs on what you’re doing and decide when she wants to get back together with you. By taking yourself away and refusing to play her game, you’re putting yourself into a position of power and leaving her with none of the good cards in the deck.

When your girlfriend wants a break it’s nothing but a game. It’s her way of drawing you into realising that you might lose something special. While by itself this isn’t such a bad thing, the way she’s going about it is immature and wrong. Either you break up or you don’t break up, and you need to let her know that. Semi-breaking up isn’t a viable option in a healthy relationship. It’s what kids do in high school and always results in confusion, bitterness, resentment, and all other emotions that will hinder having any kind of solid future relationship with your ex-girlfriend.

If you really love and care about your girlfriend, you’ll need to have a definite plan as to what to do to prevent your break from becoming a breakup. “Winging it” is not an option.

Sitting back and hoping things work out for the best is the even worse mistake. You need a step-by-step blueprint for getting your girlfriend back, and for putting your relationship back on track to be something you both enjoy.

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Valentine November 14, 2019 0 Comments

Valentine’s Day, the Perfect Opportunity to Get Back With Your Ex

If you have just recently went through a break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and you want to make up and get back together. There couldn’t be a better time than Valentine’s day to make that happen. Valentines Day is one of the most popular day’s of the year for couples to get back together after a break up. So why do so many couples get back together on Valentine’s Day?

The answer is simple really, unlike all the other holiday’s Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter.etc. that are traditionally spent with family and friends. Valentine’s Day is traditionally set aside specifically for lover’s. So this offer’s the perfect opportunity for someone wanting to get back together with an ex lover. This is a time when your ex is missing you as much as your are missing them. And even more so if the break up has happened within the last couple of months.

Your ex is not going to fall back into your arms simply because it’s Valentine’s Day. But with some predetermined planning, it will offer a window of opportunity to begin a process that will help in rectifying the circumstances that led to your break up. There are some things to consider before you start you quest to get back together with your ex, and we’ll get to those in just a moment. But first you are going to have to get together with your ex on Valentine’s Day before you can start the process, right? So how are you going to do that? Try this.

Call your ex a day or two before Valentine’s Day and say something like this: “Hi ______ You know Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I was hoping we could put are differences aside for the a day and spend a little time together”. Then shut up, don’t rattle on and sound desperate. If you have been following my articles, you should get a positive response, because you haven’t been calling constantly, you haven’t been stalking them, and you have a good reason for calling. If you haven’t been bothering them, then your ex is thinking about you also, and is probably expecting to hear from you and may even be hoping to.

Be prepared to offer suggestions for the date that would not make your ex feel like their being trapped into being alone with you, like dinner at your place. Dinner at a casual restaurant will make them feel less pressured. Bring a gift, but don’t give it to them right away, stay away from gifts that are too romantic or shows a desperate attempt to impress them. Choose a gift that is simple but shows that you are in tune with their interests. If your ex enjoys reading a new release book would be a good gift, or if they are into video games, the newest game would be a good gift. Just remember to keep it simple and something that they are interested in.

Keep your conversation casual, and at no point bring up the subject of the break up. You don’t want to remind them why the two of you broke up. Try to stay away from any subject that can somehow be associated with the break up. Instead talk about what’s currently going on in each others life’s, treat it as a first date without any open expectations. If your ex does happen to bring up the subject of the break up be prepared to discuss it but only if they bring it up. If the break up was your fault show your ex that you have gone back through the events that led to the break up and that you have a clear understanding of what he/she was upset about. If the break up was over something your ex did, do the exact same thing, your ex may not realize that he/she did anything wrong.

After dinner if your ex suggest to continue the date, accept, but do not make that suggestion yourself. At the end of the date tell your ex that you had a good time and you hope you can do it again. If you’ve made it this far you have completed a major step in getting back together with your ex. Don’t blow it now, give your ex some time to digest the time they just spent with you. Don’t call them right away, wait for another good reason to spend some time together. Unless of course your ex calls you. Or has specifically asked you to call.

Remember just because it’s Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean your ex is magically fall back into your arms. It’s just the perfect opportunity for you to begin the make up process. Be patient not pushy.

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Valentine November 6, 2019 0 Comments